So… by the Grace of Allah (Subhaanahu wa ta’ala) it has happened… I’ve embarked upon a dream, one that appeared surreal, but which I held so dear to my heart. After years of preparing; nurturing and training my soul for its spiritual journey, my physical one has now begun... alhamdulillah.
The look on my sister’s face as I hugged and kissed her goodbye was enough to break me… and it did. As much as I had tried to suppress the tears, denying myself the right to release any emotion, there and then my attempt to ‘hold-strong’ suddenly burst forth, stubbornly refusing to withdraw. I knew what my leaving meant, but hadn’t really internalised its reality, until now. I was making hijrah, migrating for the sake of my Beloved (Subhaanahu wa ta’ala), to a land I had only ever dreamt about and marvelled at, but with deep-rooted love in my heart. The land of Tawheed – where I hoped to embark upon the next phase of my journey and to achieve what may not have been possible whilst remaining in the country I had always known as ‘home’.
And yet ironically, in my heart of hearts I knew there was another home… another place that I yearned to migrate to, longed to reside in and aspired to make a part of me… the home of the two sacred cities – where The country where the House of my Lord remained.
Departing from my beloved family and dear sisters and friends made me realise their true beauty and significance in my life. They have made me who I am and what I stand for. Allah (Swt) brought them to me and me to them for a purpose known only to Him (Swt) Alone. I am forever thankful for that, but only sorry that I hadn’t the wisdom to realise their worth long before. How often it is that we take for granted the blessing and jewels bestowed upon us, whether people or possessions, only to one day realise that the beauty of what we sought was all the while evident in what we had.
Those aspects of my life will remain apart of me and my continual journey, insha’Allah. So, as heartbreaking as it all was and as much as my eyes wept like a baby, this – my new life, new hopes and new aspirations - I never want to lose -insha'Allah.
As difficult as it was: leaving my loved ones, I knew, and took great comfort in the fact, that none of these things really mattered – not the people nor the possessions - for they were merely meant for Allah’s (Swt) Sake Alone: a means of seeking His (Swt) Pleasure, as an aid and guide to seeking nearness to my Lord (Swt).
So, as I settle and adjust to my new life, the words of my new companion resonates in my mind… ‘can you believe that after so many years… we’re finally home’.
SubhaanAllah, yaa ukht - I couldn’t have said it any better myself, wa- alhamdulillah.