How truly amazing I felt yesterday. . . Why? To be completely honest I wouldn't know where to begin; but I simply wanted to share my happiness with the world. . .
It has been about five months since I begun my magnificent journey. An unpredictable and yet magnificent journey, unraveling hidden secrets, silent promises and heart-provoking realities. My journey is actually one of irony, tainted with naive-ignorance and the underlying echoes of yearning. Yearning and longing for so much more. So much more than what this world strove to offer me.
The beginning of my realisation marks the beginning of this journey, my journey, our journey. For each and every one of us are travellers, lost travellers journeying towards our forgotten homes. Some of us have remembered, whilst others have chosen to forget.
Over six and a half years ago I thought my journey had begun, looking back, maybe it had, but many many things failed to be present. For how can a traveller be successful along their journey without provisions? How can they achieve their goal without knowledge of their destination or of how to get there? How can a traveller really succeed along the path of their journey, whilst remaining ignorant of what path to tread upon? Well you see, six and a half years ago, I was a new-traveller, one that merely wanted to pack their luggage and be on their way, without ever looking back; and so I did.
But there was a problem, a big problem. I had failed on all of the above questions, mistakenly believing that I was treading successfully along my journey; when rather I had been filled with nothing more than false hopes. As I sit here remembering those chapters of my life, I cannot simply rip out the pages and be done with them, no, of course not, as they are crucial parts of my life; chapters that make up my completed story - having played a significant part of my journey. However, these chapters have now been closed, not for good, just temporarily closed.
So yesterday as I awoke to another blessed day of my journey - filling another page of my life, my soul was immersed with so much happiness and contentment. Walking through my local superstore I wanted nothing more than to proclaim to all: 'Can't you see my excitement! Can't you hear my joy! Look! Look! Look at me! No I'm not oppressed! I'm not sad! And I'm certainly not mad! On the contrary, for I've been given the cure for madness - Islam!' I wanted nothing more than to have them hear my inner-screams, only to enable them to harbour within themselves, what it is that I have so grown to love and long for . . . Allah (Swt).
My Lord (Swt) has honoured me with something that, truly. . . words will never be able to do justice to; a realisation and understanding that would instantly break all hearts; a love and longing in my heart that is only sufficient for my Beloved-Allah (Swt).
So you see, as I awoke to the sound of the birds perched upon my garden tree making dhikr and my heart ever so swift in joining them; I knew, I had a reason to smile.